The raging "kids" didn't design the mess though. WL qualifiers are the only real place where there's a consequence. WL or rivals there isn't really any consequence of note associated with just quitting. And I feel like I have a second chance.Took 3 hours to get 15 wins on WL, don’t understand the player base on Fifa anymore? Remember when people used to be competitive on Fifa and actually try to comeback from 1 or 2-0 down… Fifa has changed just feels like I’m playing against kids who rage to much. "But I don't regret even the ugliest things that have happened to me. "This hasn't been easy and there were a lot of ups and downs," Panettiere says of her journey. She's now sober and single and back on set, reprising her role as Kirby in Scream 6. Within the last year, she's done both trauma therapy and inpatient treatment. Panettiere went back to treatment for depression in 2020.
"I'd think I hit rock bottom, but then there's that trap door that opens." "I was on top of the world and I ruined it," the Heroes alum adds. "I was no longer a 20-year-old who could just bounce right back." "Doctors told me my liver was going to give out," she remembers. Panettiere's drinking continued - "I would have the shakes when I woke up and could only function with sipping alcohol" - and she was hospitalized with jaundice. "But I wanted to be a good mom to her - and sometimes that means letting them go." "It was the hardest thing I ever had to do," she shares. In 2018, she sent Kaya to live with Klitschko in Ukraine. But with the opiates and alcohol I was doing anything to make me feel happy for a moment. "He didn't want to be around me," she recalls. Panettiere first sought treatment for depression in 2015 but didn't stop drinking. "There was just this gray color in my life." "I never had the feeling that I wanted to harm my child, but I didn't want to spend any time with her," Panettiere says, noting she was sober during her pregnancy but relapsed after Kaya's birth. But she suffered from severe postpartum depression for years. In 2014, Panettiere gave birth to daughter to daughter Kaya, whom she shares with her ex, Wladimir Klitschko. And as I got older, the drugs and alcohol became something I almost couldn't live without," she admits. The actress began drinking and occasionally taking opioids, but says her "saving grace is that I couldn't be messy while on set and working. "I had no idea that this was not an appropriate thing, or what door that would open for me when it came to my addiction." "They were to make me peppy during interviews," she recalls. Panettiere, who started acting at age 5 on One Life to Live, says she was first offered "happy pills" by someone on her team when she was 15. The idea of not having a responsibility was very appealing at the time." "Acting was my life, but I felt so bad about myself that I lost trust in myself. "I wanted to party, I wanted to do everything I wasn't supposed to do," Panettiere recalls. Panettiere is "trying to live in a place of understanding" as she thinks "about the things I have done in my life that people forgave me for." When Nashville ended in 2018 after six seasons, the actress fell deeper into opioids and alcohol. And I'm trying to live in a place of forgiveness." He's gone to treatment and done his time. "But I am open to people who are willing to get help and make amends. "None of it is OK, and I want to make sure that everybody knows that," she explains. Panettiere says she and Hickerson are friends. "But it was not as insane as it was made to look, and everyone is OK." "It was not my best behavior, it was not anyone's best behavior," Panettiere says of the incident. In March, they were involved in a fight outside a bar. After he was released, they were back to hanging out. In 2021, Hickerson went to jail stemming from a separate domestic violence incident against the actress. The following year, she was issued a protective order as he was charged with domestic violence. Panettiere began dating Hickerson, 33, in 2018. "But a lot of women go through what I went through, and I want people to know it's OK to ask for help." "It was a very dark and complicated time in my life," Panettiere reflects to People. The Nashville star's heavy substance use coincided with her abusive relationship with Brian Hickerson, whom she dated on and off for four years. The 32-year-old actress is now sober after privately struggling with addiction to opioids and alcohol. Hayden Panettiere is opening up about her turbulent last few years.
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